Monday, 25 March 2013

No baby on board

Ha! Fooled you! This post has absolutely no relation to my menstrual cycle, for what seems like the first time in years.


Would it be 100% immoral to lie to Transport For London in order to get my hands on a Baby on Board badge?

It's not that I have any great desire to fool people into thinking I'm pregnant. It's just that
"I'm really, really tired, you guys. So tired my hand is shaking as I grip the slippery pole, my knees are knocking, I can feel my legs actually buckling in the middle and sinking towards the floor. No one really knows what's wrong with me, so we're currently going with 'probably Chronic Fatigue Syndrome'; the heart condition thing seems to be sorted out but I do still occasionally faint while standing up for long periods in overheated conditions - hey! Like this one! - and I really don't want to pass out on your knee. That would just be weird when I come round and my nose is in your crotch and you're keeping your eyes determinedly on your Evening Standard. (True story!) So be a pal and GIMME YOUR MOTHERFUCKING SEAT, OKAY?"
...would require a really big badge.


  1. I think I need your impractically large badge actually. Thankyouplease? xx

    1. I'm coming up with so many amazing inventions lately. Let's go into business and make MILLIONS. Or, probably, about £4.72 given that so far the market share consists of... you and me.

    2. Amelia would go for something similar. I was shocked but not surprised, that this doesn't already exist. :-(