Thursday, 17 February 2011

The state of contemporary masculinity

Is something which interests me greatly, and also something I am patently unqualified to pontificate on! But when has that stopped me? So, two observations.

1. "German engineering... for your hair."
Make-up is girly. Bubble bath is girly. Caring about your appearance, or anything that foams but is not beer, is girly. But... guys' hair gets greasy too, and more importantly, we could be making so much more money if we made 100% of the population feel physically inadequate without our shiny products. DILEMMA!

The solution: razors marketed as surface-to-air missiles. Making soothing shaving balm - that is totally not moisturiser - in bottles that bear a passing resemblance to WD40 (the REAL MAN's lubricant!).  And now: shampoo that is as close as possible to being a car, without the pesky copyright issues of just flat-out calling it Vorsprung durch Technik.

2. "But Peter Crouch is really hot!"
Watching the Milan v Spurs match with three very straight, relatively laddish gentlemen, who spent a good twenty minutes discussing whether Fernando Torres is more attractive than Niko Kranjčar. With no self-consciousness whatsoever.

If we can avoid getting blown up, drowned, hurricaned or globally warmed, it's moments like this that make me think humanity will probably be alright.

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