Sunday, 3 November 2013

I am a leaf on the wind

Content note: suicidal ideation. I know, shocker!

Fun times at Highbury Corner:

1. A crowd of Scousers, each wearing either a Liverpool shirt or a t-shirt exhorting us "Don't buy the S*n", chanting the horn part from Ring of Fire at John Power - him from Cast and The La's - who then lead the crowd in a joyfully endless rendition of The Fields of Anfield Road: possibly the most Liverpudlian thing that has ever happened. Certainly the Liverpudlianist thing that London has ever seen.

2. Caught short outside the Garage, my partner in crime announced that he was going to piss on Highbury Fields in order to show his disdain for rich people. I convinced him to piss instead on the Bowlby Centre to strike a blow against Mr Bowlby's sexist and ethnocentric theory of attachment. He did so. We were proud.

3. One of the yoga teachers at Highbury Leisure Centre likes to end the class with a Structured Visualisation where you imagine yourself as a beautiful golden leaf falling from the top of a mighty oak tree. Being me, I can't seem to help myself imaging myself as an exhausted depresso falling from the top of a multi-storey car park.

"At ten, the wind blows you off the branch," and you take the first step into the sky.

"At nine, you swirl upwards on a gust of wind, and eight, you begin your descent towards the earth below."

"At seven, you look around you, surveying the branches of your tree," and observe the couple fucking on the sixth floor of the car park.

"At five, you are halfway to the ground," approaching terminal velocity.

"At four, you can see every blade of grass beneath you," or in my case, the oily puddle congealing on the asphalt.

"Three, you swoop lower, two, you can almost touch the ground," one, you smash into oblivion as your head meets the pavement.


So, my question for you is: do I point out that this particular visualisation may not be the wisest to a minor subset of his audience? Risk getting Concerned Looks and patronising are you okaaaaaay?s for the rest of my yoga career? Might it save someone else? Would it be self-centred special pleading? Would it prevent everyone else in the class from a very special experience of Surrendering To Gravity? Plz help thanx.


  1. I don't know. I do know I'd probably have the same reaction and perversely kind of enjoy it, but maybe email? I am 200% not OK with these discussions face to face.

    I think if you feel OK about doing it it's probably worth asking for a less triggery visualisation. I'm reasonable confident about a positive outcome, but you never know.

  2. Do you ever interact with your class outside of the classes themselves? Like could you maybe bring it up in a very circumspect way and see if you get that *feeling* from anyone else, that they're in the same place? Something innocuous like "wow, that leaf visualisation was pretty tough today, i really struggled with it" and see if you get the "yeah, I'm so stressed it's hard to relax" response or the one that gives you a hint that someone else is struggling in the same way.

    Or maybe you'd just get a resounding 'that exercise is so useless, why do we even do it' and then you'd feel better about asking for an alternative, and nobody has to know why if you don't want them to.

  3. Thanks for the comments both, really kind of you to reply. xx