Saturday, 16 April 2011

Auntie Llama's advice column, with tax evasion, bad shoes, and poor quality photographs

Ah, Tory Britain. So full of sage advice. Did you know, for instance, that the financial crisis of the last few years was caused by a sly, pernicious group within society - a selfish, scheming collection of malefactors who care nothing for the hard-working majority and are only out for what they can scam off the state?

No, not bankers, you doofus! BENEFIT CHEATS!

Those bastards.

Imagine waking up with that outside your bedroom window. Especially if you are, in fact, receiving housing benefit. Clearly, there's only one thing to do, if you are an upstanding citizen with a dedicated commitment to the betterment of this nation.

I love this county.

(My own preferred defacement involved drawing attention to the fact that benefit fraud is estimated to cost the economy £1.6bn a year, as compared to the current 'tax gap' of one hundred and twenty billion... but apparently that's too long to be a good slogan.)

In other sagey onion-flavoured advice, may I suggest that, should you find yourself presented with the opportunity to travel halfway across London barefoot, you decline the challenge?

It also behoves me to suggest that, should you be presented with the opportunity to buy Clarks shoes, you heed this broken-footed blogger's warning.

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