ACTUAL HEADLINE: Self-service tills have lead to longer queues for shoppers.
ACTUAL RESPONSE OF THE NATION: Gosh, really? Say it ain't so! But we thought that all this technology was for us! We thought it would make life better, quicker, easier; we thought it was another step on the yellow-brick road to our robot-assisted utopian future! It had nothing to do with gigantic supermarkets' desire to save money and lay off staff, taking away any meagre claim they may have had to improving our lives with their ubiquitous strip-lit shops filled with over-priced and over-ripe vegetables, did it?
This is not news and does not belong in a newspaper. It is obvious and as such belongs in an obviouspaper.
Which, for the Mail, is just weird.
Oh well, I suppose if you talk rubbish for long enough, you've got to hit the odd fact once in a while, if only by accident. Monkeys, typewriters; even a stopped watch is right twice a day.