Turns out it is quite difficult to give up smoking

Thursday, 9:30am: "Hurrah! I am a happy non-smoker! I am so excited not to have to light small fires in my face any more! What joyful new vistas of life are opening up to me! I can spend so much more money on books!"

Thursday, 9:30pm: "DAVE IF YOU DON'T GIVE ME A CIGARETTE RIGHT NOW I WILL KICK YOUR FACE OFF LIKE AN OTTER THANK YOU I LOVE YOU ARGH."

Friday, midday, in a slightly more strained voice: "Err, hurrah, I am a happy non-smoker..."

Friday, 8:30pm: "Bring cigarettes. Bring pizza. Bring ice cream. Bring lawyers, guns and money. But please, please bring cigarettes."

Saturday, 3:15pm, to my friendly local pharmacist: "Fuck this shit, give me everything you've got." ("What do you mean, Gary Oldman in the hit film Leon, 'everything'?" "I mean EV-ER-Y-THIIIIIING.")

Saturday, 4:30pm: "Hannah, why are you smoking a tampon?"
"For feminism, motherfucker, FOR FEMINISM."