I read the Daily Mail so you don't have to

Oh, it's a compulsion. Sadly, a new and improved stabbing pain in my right scapula is impeding normal blogging activity, so I haven't got the spoons to give you the full Femail run-down right now. Instead, I shall simply share this key question:

46% say yes! Good afternoon, chaps: the Man Rules have officially been codified, and if you're not into eating sausages (which look NOTHING LIKE PENISES, WHAT ARE YOU IMPLYING) you will never get lay-lady-laid! All hail the all-encompassing theory of sex, power and performative gender, as originally brought down from the mountain by Katy Perry.